Should I Go to Therapy?
If you’re having mental health issues that impair your ability to function in one or more of the core areas of life (e.g., social, work/education, home, or self-care), chances are you have been told you need to go to therapy. And, if you’re reading this, then I’m assuming you’re at least willing to entertain the concept of therapy. But the only answer to this question that matters is your answer. Do you think you should go to therapy?
Your answer strongly depends on what you think therapy is. Does “therapy” have a negative stigma to it, or does it sound like a solution? And the reason your answer is the most important is because therapy does NOT work without your buy-in. Here’s what I tell people about how therapy works, using two analogies:
Mental health therapy is a lot like physical therapy. If you’ve ever had physical therapy, you know it’s not a “lay back and try not to fall asleep while the specialists fix you” situation. Your physical therapist supports & stabilizes you if needed and the rest of the time is spent either gathering info or teaching you and motivating you to do the hard, but necessary work needed to create a stronger, healed body. There is a similar process in the mental health therapy space. As a therapist, I am a support, teacher, and motivator for my clients, but I cannot be the only person doing the work since all the work is internal and under the client’s control. But working together, the client can build up the muscles (or neural pathways) needed to adapt to life on life’s terms.
The second analogy really helps people visualize the process. If the difficulties that are impairing a client’s life are like the stormy seas, and they are on the ship that is their healing journey toward stability (land), they would be the captain of the ship, and I would be the navigator. The ship is the client’s to command, and I can help get that ship to shore with what I know. Without the captain’s command, the ship doesn’t move toward its destination. Who knows where it will go!
Now, there are a couple of important points to make here. One is that it is statistically proven that the therapeutic relationship between the client and therapist is the highest predictor of positive outcomes in therapy. And since sometimes two people just do not work well together, it’s very possible to get into therapy and have a negative experience without it necessarily being anyone’s fault. In this situation, I strongly, strongly recommend that you 1). don’t give up on therapy as a whole, and 2). don’t hesitate to try with a different therapist. I usually say, if after 3 sessions the client feels like therapy is too uncomfortable, I’ll be more than happy to provide referrals to see if other therapists would work better or give the client what they are seeking. The truth is, not every therapist is alike, and not every therapist knows every intervention, modality, and/or disorder - and not to mention any cultural factors that come into play. Remember that therapy is for the client, so I hope to empower you to advocate for yourself if you do go into therapy.
The other important point to make is…money. It is not affordable to pay for therapy out-of-pocket. However, I want to point out a few options you DO have if this is stopping you from even thinking about therapy.
Open Path (https://openpathcollective.org/) is an organization that provides those seeking therapy with access to many therapists who agree to take on clients for $30-$70 per session, and to get access to search through their listings, all you have to do is pay a one-time $65 fee (to keep the website running).
If you search any therapist directories (like psychologytoday.com) you will be able to search for therapists in your area who take your insurance. This may come with a small copay for each session you have with the therapist, depending on your insurance.
If you find a therapist you like, but they do not take your insurance, you can ask for a “superbill” to provide to your insurance company to see if your insurance will reimburse you for some of the cost you spent for the session.
There are charities like Family Counseling Services LLC in Lubbock, TX (https://www.fcslubbock.org/) which provide free counseling as well as low-cost counseling, depending on your needs. Universities typically provide their students with access to free counseling services through their tuition. Some churches may pay for therapy if needed. Bottom line is: Help is out there. Always keep an eye open!
So, what do you think about therapy now? Maybe it’s time to release some of our expectations of therapy, and just take a chance. If you’re in New Mexico and you’re looking for a safe place for trauma processing through talk therapy or EMDR, schedule with me using the links above or below :) And as always, may you be gentle with yourself.
